The Unfathomable Cycle of Life

I turned a year older the other day; the day went well. Even amidst all the warm wishes and laughter something disturbing kept coming up, something inside was roaring high for my attention. Following day on my way to office, my mind took the liberty of questioning itself, more like a feedback form they pass around after a boring presentation .It raised half a dozen not so pleasant questions which on any other day I would have readily avoided but this time it was different it was the brand new day of my brand new year. Was I happy to be alive, what would be the one thing I would be doing if it were m last day? Does my work excite me enough to make me look forward to hitting office the next day?? Pretty heavy stuff on an innocent morning to confront huh??Well there was no escaping this time..

I should be the hip and happening software professional drawing fat salary end of month working in air-conditioned rooms all day, partying hard n hanging out with fellow “cool’’ software professionals on weekends to fit the picture of a modern day working woman. Real picture: I was feeling pretty miserable myself. I was not doing the things I want to do anymore, the "ever exploring new horizons me" have long gone lost somewhere in the woods, not seeing the places I wanted to see, around people I do not care a darn about, I go to the flashy spaceship lookalike office, doing the work any average person can do, having all my meals from the office cafeteria with the same people, cracking the same silly disgusting jokes .How I was starting to loathe all this and felt exasperated inside!!! In short there’s no life in my life anymore. I tried to find out my buddies take on this. And boy!! was I surprised, the stories are pretty much the same.. days are spend writing shitty code, drinking filthy coffee reading forwards that have circulated around the world in record time, and nights dedicated to making the mobile network company rich!!

Having got a big picture of the miserable life around , I still was not sure whether to feel sympathy towards myself for the clone I became or rather feel happy for all that I have...I mean at least I am not lagging behind anything rite. I have enough money to spend on a book or a DVD, have friends to call when I need a good laugh.. who shows empathy towards me.. to constantly assure me that everything’s going to be alrite, folks who worries about me when a silly bomb goes boom. I am lucky for sure but maybe the lession I have to learn is you cannot have all the things in the world. As they always say to appreciate what u have keep an outsiders perspective handy...there are people who take a lifetime dream vacation to the Maldives or to the Bahamas and never come back home because tsunami or a hurricane with a silly name hit them , there are people who give the performance of a life time and before the reviews are out , before basking in the glory, they will be in an altogether different world where these things have no meaning...there are worst things that can happen and you are spared for at least this day, this minute. I still can afford to contemplate whether to catch up Mama Mia at the nearby multiplex, or a weekend getaway with friends to a serene place . So at the end of the day you still have to fight your demons but that should not stop us from enjoying a steaming cup of tea on a roadside shack, rain pouring outside. For now on, I am juss gonna enjoy myself!!!